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JOKES : Funny Quote


13 Jokes in Funny Quote (3 pag.)



:: Age Quotes    
Joke : Funny Quote
Total votes Joke : 1
Score Joke : 5.00

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
Bob Hope

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
Sir Norman Wisdom

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
Mike Tyson

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
John Mendoza

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
Robert Quillen

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body.
Geoffrey Parfitt

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:: Work quotes    
Joke : Funny Quote
Total votes Joke : 2
Score Joke : 3.50

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse
Dennis Miller

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Edgar Bergen

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
Leslie Nielsen

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.
Robert Paul

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
Dennis Miller

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome

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:: Money Quotes    
Joke : Funny Quote
Total votes Joke : 2
Score Joke : 3.50

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
J. Paul Getty

A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'
Lord Barnett

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn

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13 Jokes Funny Quote(3 pag.)