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41 Jokes in Lawyer Joke (9 pag.)



:: A Few Good Lawyers    
Joke : Lawyer Joke
Total votes Joke : 1
Score Joke : 5.00

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

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:: 12 Feet Deep    
Joke : Lawyer Joke
Total votes Joke : 1
Score Joke : 5.00

Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep instead of just six?
Because deep down they really are good people.

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:: 10 Husbands, Still a Virgin    
Joke : Lawyer Joke
Total votes Joke : 1
Score Joke : 5.00

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

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:: buried in sand    
Joke : Lawyer Joke
Total votes Joke : 1
Score Joke : 5.00

What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.

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:: Bribery 2    
Joke : Lawyer Joke
Total votes Joke : 1
Score Joke : 5.00

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

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41 Jokes Lawyer Joke(9 pag.)